Date sent: Tue, 21 May 1996 19:12:18 -0600 Murderer apologizes; walks free Victim's father relieved: "I'm glad he saw that what he did was wrong." By Todd On February twenty-third, 1996 history was made in a small courtroom in Rockford, Illinois. This was the first time a criminal asserted his newest constitutional right. The new amendment congress passed unanimously was for the protection of criminals, generally referred to as the "I'm sorry amendment." The amendment basically says this: If someone is being tried for a crime they are given the option to come out and say what they did was wrong, and they are truly sorry for their crime. If the defendant chooses to exercise his new constitutional right the judge must close the case and let the defendant go free. "Hallelujah!" Thirty-two year old Tyler Morgan exclaimed as he was let walk out of the courtroom a free man. Morgan was being tried for the brutal slaying of three children on December third, 1995. Outside the courtroom Morgan explained "Yeah, I killed those three kids. It was a hideous death. I made them suffer. I choked them each one at a time, making sure the others watched. It was entertaining to see their faces change colors as the time went on. When they were almost dead I hit them in the face as hard as I could, and burned their arms with my cigarette. I kind of wanted to stop, but I had already started, so I couldn't finish at that time. When two of them were dead, I got out of the car, finished off my beer and I was ready for the third. I got the most pleasure out of seeing the last one try to fight. He had such a hopeless scream and a pathetic look on his face. After all three of them were dead, I drank another beer and dumped their bodies by the river. After thinking about it for a while I guess I realized it was wrong. I shouldn't have killed them, but owell, at least I got a workout. I'd just like to say once again that what I did was wrong, and I'm sorry." The judge in the proceedings, Alan Foley supports this new law. "Even though his hair fingerprints were found all over the boys' clothes, over twenty witnesses were ready to testify, and the fact that he has been in prison for murder on two other occasions," Foley explained "Morgan knew what he did was wrong, and he's truly sorry. Hopefully the public will realize the pain Morgan went through when he was given a one-million dollar bail. Also, I saw him talking on the news the other night, he seemed like a pretty nice guy. He probably won't do it again." One might speculate the families of the victims would be angered about this new amendment, on the contrary the families are overjoyed. Ben Hansen, the father of the youngest victim is acting as the spokesperson for all of the family members. "We can just sleep easier now," Hansen says with a look of relief on his face "now that we know the man who murdered my only son is sorry. I don't have to live in fear that he is going to get me sometime. All of us can live in simple peace and harmony now. Also there is the fact that he is sorry. Now that he had learned his lesson I really don't think he will kill anyone else. You know, we learn from our mistakes, and he has made plenty of them, so he should be rather intelligent by now. And why dwell on the past? It's over, finished, let's move on." When asked if the families felt revengeful, Hansen laughed hysterically and replied: "Revengeful?" continued laughing "No no no! Not at all! This man is sorry! Why would we be revengeful? Actually he is coming over for dinner tomorrow night to meet the whole family." This is only the first trial to be heard under the new twenty-seventh amendment. It is almost incomprehensible to think of the social and economic advantages this amendment will bring. The President of the United States figured in less than a year there will be no need for jails anymore; everyone will admit they were wrong and set free. This will cut state taxes an estimated fifteen percent. There are also plans to set up a completely automated phone service where criminals will be able to call twenty-four hours a day to admit their wrong doing, without having to hassle with going down to the courthouse. This is mainly geared to the molester and gang member that also wants to hold a nine-to-five job. This will bring at least 100 new jobs into each state. Congressman Tim McMann was one of the fore fathers for the "I'm sorry amendment." He commented: "We've only had this system for a day and I can tell it is going to work out greatly. The truth is just so ugly, and we don't want to look at it. It will be a cold day in Hell when I vote to abolish this amendment. I can't imagine going back to the primitive judicial procedures of punishing people for what they have done. Back then, even if the criminal is sorry it didn't matter! I hate to even think about it, but then the judge and jury only looked at the evidence of the trial. The criminal was punished for what he/she had done. They didn't care at all about the feelings of the real victim: the criminal. If this Morgan case were to be tried without the twenty-seventh amendment he probably would have gotten at least three life sentences. I would just hate to see a man that admits he is wrong put behind bars. I love this amendment! Remember, we are trying to evolve here, and we can't evolve without change." Even though no one at the Daily Bugle is a criminal, so the twenty-seventh ammendment will not apply to anyone in our corporation, this publication would like to applaud Congress for putting it into effect. The Daily Bugle believes it is more valuable than the freedom of speech and press. There will be a midnight vigil held in the park on Saturday for Morgan: the first of many men to admit he is wrong.