Series 1, Number 2 Monday, March 20, 1995

Copyright © 1995 AIP. Unauthorized print reproduction is encouraged.

From the Editor’s Desk

There’s been allot of controversy regarding The Billerica Beating as of the official release of our first issue. Some people seemed to think The Beating is a pro-marijuana newsletter. Some believed that Garden of Grass by SMT1 and SDF1 (Cheech and Chung), an article intended to show that Marijuana use causes users to become so stupid as to not even be able to spell simple words like “stoned” and “life” correctly was inciting students to use marijuana. Just check that grammar! How many brain cells does that kid have left, anyway?

Also, we’ve had some people going up to Mike Rogers and asking what he’s been doing digging around through Chris’s stuff. Maybe I should have made it a little bit more clear in the last issue that Mike found the Plug-In article in his computer. It was given to him by Chris two years ago with the request that it be published. Mike never made another newsletter after the DSS fiasco, so I published it in my newsletter.

To those of you who didn’t get your stuff in on time, no matter, we filled this issue anyway, but get it to me now if you want to see it in the next issue. For those of you who contributed, got stuff in on time, volunteered to distribute this, and especially Pat Callahan, who takes care of the paper, ink, and printing, a great big thanks for putting your ass on the line so that we can print the truth.

I can feel it now. The smell of kerosene in the air, and the strike of the match is like an explosion, punctuating the silence as hundreds of copies of this newsletter burst into flames. Get your copy now before the book burners come for them. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic. Point is, The Beating isn’t going to be around forever. Voice your opinions, make yourself heard before it’s gone.

Letters to the Editor

From: fluffy (Joe Daverin)

I’m really glad that an underground (intelligently done) newsletter exists at BMHS. The school paper kinda sucks, and we have so many talented writers and musicians that get no exposure in the various outlets of expression that the school provides. I hope that the newsletter, which I have only had a chance to skim, continues and grows to include material from some of the other kids in school. I really hope that the paper doesn’t fall into the affirmative action style reverse discrimination thing. I hope that it will remain open to all students, unlike many of our other programs at BMHS... I don’t know how often publication is, but I hope it’s often, and I hope that I will at some point get the chance to contribute to the newsletter. Ť

From: PMK1 (Phill McKrakinn)

Since The Beating has gotten some attention, it’s time for me to put my 2˘ worth in. The “real” school newspaper, known as The Billerica Beat isn’t that bad, it’s just dysfunctional this year. Last year and the pervious years it was really neat. Journalism classes worked really hard on it, and covered interesting topics. Something changed this year, however. One of the co-editors took a stand for herself and quit, (I personally feel she was justified) and this was handled immaturely by some. As this year has gone on, other hard working editors have been kicked off, or worse yet, excommunicated from the Billerica Beat staff.

The Beat has had problems with their printer croaking and editors who didn’t do their job, but some staff members who are or were really dedicated are discouraged when they see what sh*t is actually getting printed.

The Beat has lost allot of respect is getting a “beating,” if you’ll excuse the play on words. It’s layout sucks, and it’s timeliness is a joke. The Beat is more of a yearbook than a newspaper. Management if The Beat should get together to regroup and map out what needs to be improved and how to go about it.

Also, it’s great that this year’s journalism students help out as much as they do, but it’s a mere hands-on learning experience for them. It should not be forgotten that this year’s “editors” are supposed to have the knowledge, responsibility, and expertise to help the students.

This letter to the editor isn’t meant to be a complete slam to The Billerica Beat, but as a reminder that they need to get their act together and fix their newspaper. Hopefully, things will improve with The Beat so that The Billerica Beating will only have to take care of the controversial issues which can’t be handled in a “PG” fashion. Until then, The Billerica Beating is probably a better source to get timely and interesting information from. Ť

Gun Control

From: fluffy (Joe Daverin)

Blood. The thick red fluid that had flowed so freely on ancient battlefields. Blood that legendary swords had spilt onto the parched ground of the Egyptian deserts. The elixir of life that drained from Caesar as he fell to the ground in disgrace. Blood that drips into gutters every day, falling from the neat incision that a knife forces on tender skin. And the great box that rules our lives, this beautiful cube that shows us how to live, it tells us to just stop the blood from flowing.

And the intent is right, the feeling, the idea that something is wrong. But the message that the box projects, that we should stop violence and all live in a happy-gay-perfect world, this message is wrong. What the message, in my opinion, should be, is repeal the second amendment to the Constitution. All right, so what if it is part of the almighty Bill of Rights? Guns then weren’t like guns are now, and besides, maybe the government, and I know I shouldn’t say this, because we all have such strong faith in our great leaders, but maybe, for the first time ever, the government was wrong.

Or maybe repeal is too strong. Maybe a new amendment would do more to kill the NRA. Exclusion of guns from the second amendment would be a big step in eradicating the problem. The problem, of course, being guns. Why? Because they’re a quick-fix, bang, bang, you’re dead, and all I had to do was pull a trigger. After all, I didn’t kill you, I just touched a piece of metal attached to a gear which moved other pieces of metal. I never physically hurt you, I never even came near you. People don’t kill people, guns kill people. So why should I go to jail? I was insane, it was an accident, the gun fired itself, it wasn’t me, and there are a million exact copies of my gun out there, so someone else must have done it. Yep. Wasn’t me, and you can’t prove it.

The reason guns, and the second amendment, are so dangerous is that they introduce a new breed of killer into our society. The small man with the big gun. Before guns, the weak man could not kill. (And here I mean mentally weak, not physically weak. The mentally strong, physically weak man can beat the physically strong, mentally weak man every time) The weak man could talk big, but his weakness constructed a wall of squeamishness that stayed his hand and left him looking like a fool. Before guns, anyway. These metal monsters give the weak man a false willpower, they make the weak seem strong. But they are not strong, for there is no thought involved, no effort. The gun is a god-tool, causing death on decision.

My choice for the 27th amendment: “All citizens of the United States, without receiving a special permit issued by the US government, shall not possess any kind of firearm, under penalty of imprisonment”

Understand, though, that one should not expect the abolishment of guns to “stop the violence”, or save everyone, or make the inner cities beautiful havens of learned men and talented poets. The abolishment of guns will only step towards removing this new killer, “the small man with the big gun”, from our society.

Dangerous Thought

By: anonymous (Anonymous)

MOSCOW—Doctors are blaming a rare electrical imbalance in the brain for the bizarre death of a chess player whose head literally exploded in the middle of a championship game!

No one else was hurt in the fatal explosion but four players and three officials at the Moscow Candidate Masters’ Chess Championships were sprayed with blood and brain matter when Nikolai Titov’s head suddenly blew apart. Experts say he suffered from a condition called Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis or HCE.

“He was deep in concentration with his eyes focused on the board,” says Titov’s opponent, Vladimir Dobrynin. “All of a sudden his hands flew to his temples and he screamed in pain. Everyone looked up from their games, startled by the noise. Then, as if someone had put a bomb in his cranium, his head popped like a firecracker.”

Incredibly, Titiov’s is not the first case in which a person’s head has spontaneously exploded. Five people are known to have died of HCE in the last 25 years. The most recent death occurred just three years ago in 1991, when European psychic Barbara Nicole’s skull burst. Miss Nicole’s story was reported by newspapers worldwide, including WWN. “HCE is an extremely rare physical imbalance,” said Dr. Anatoly Martinenko, famed neurologist and expert on the human brain who did the autopsy on the brilliant chess expert. “It is a condition in which the circuits of the brain become overloaded by the body’s own electricity. The explosions happen during periods of intense mental activity when lots of current is surging through the brain. Victims are highly intelligent people with great powers of concentration. Both Miss Nicole and Mr. Titov were intense people who tended to keep those cerebral circuits overloaded. In a way it could be said they were literally too smart for their own good.”

Although Dr. Martinenko says there are probably many undiagnosed cases, he hastens to add that very few people will die from HCE. “Most people who have it will never know. At this point, medical science still doesn’t know much about HCE. And since fatalities are so rare it will probably be years before research money becomes available.” In the meantime, the doctor urges people to take it easy and not think too hard for long periods of time. “Take frequent relaxation breaks when you’re doing things that take lots of mental focus,” he recommends.

Although HCE is very rare, it can kill. Dr. Martinenko says knowing you have the condition can greatly improve your odds of surviving it. A “yes” answer to any three of the following seven questions could mean that you have HCE:

1. Does your head sometimes ache when you think too hard? (Head pain can indicate overloaded brain circuits.)

2. Do you ever hear a faint ringing or humming sound in your ears? (It could be the sound of electricity in the skull cavity.)

3. Do you sometimes find yourself unable to get a thought out of your head? (This is a possible sign of too much electrical activity in the cerebral cortex.)

4. Do you spend more than five hours a day reading, balancing your checkbook, or other thoughtful activity? (A common symptom of HCE is a tendency to over-use the brain.)

5. When you get angry or frustrated do you feel pressure in your temples? (Friends of people who died of HCE say the victims often complained of head pressure in times of strong emotion.)

6. Do you ever overeat on ice cream, doughnuts and other sweets? (A craving for sugar is typical of people with too much electrical pressure in the cranium.)

7. Do you tend to analyze yourself too much? (HCE sufferers are often introspective, “over-thinking” their lives.)


"There’s a war out there, a world war. And its not about who's got the most bullets, its about who controls the information. What we see and hear, how we work, what we think... Its all about the information."-- Cosmo, Sneakers

The First Amendment and G.L., Chapter 137 protect the rights of students to publish and / or distribute any form of literature, subject to the limitations on obscenity, defamation, fighting words, and disruption, as shown below. Note that these terms (obscenity, defamation, fighting words, and disruption) are defined in very complicated legal terms in G.L. 137. The simplified descriptions below are not a substitute for reading the actual bill.

· Obscenity Speech or writing that is so morally offensive that courts rule it is not protected by the First Amendment.

· Libel Untrue writing that damages a person’s reputation.

· Fighting Words These might include things such as racial, sexual, ethnic, or religious slurs.

· Incitement Anything that is clearly and immediately likely to cause other people to violate laws or valid school rules and is intended to do so.

· Disruption Unless the expression falls under one of the exceptions above, the content of what you say is protected, and the school cannot restrict the activities through which you say it, unless those activities substantially disrupt the functioning of the school. This is true even if some people think that what you say is “offensive” or “in poor taste.” Unless you use fighting words or incitement, you cannot be restricted because other people become disruptive in response to your expression. The question is whether you yourself are disrupting the school, and not the content of what you say.

No Alternative?

by: krinkle (Paul Prestia)

This article is solely directed towards the posers who are trying to be “alternative.” You know who you are. You wear Nirvana shirts tucked into your Pepe™ jeans. You know who Dinosaur Jr. is by “the golf video.” Please try to comprehend what I’m about to tell you. Alternative music doesn’t exist. There is just music, some of which sucks worse than the rest (Dre, Snoop, etc.).

Do yourself and everyone else a favor: stop it now!! Listen to bands for their musical talent, not because MTV told you to. Why is it that you get so waterlogged from swimming in the mainstream? Have you ever even heard of Black Flag or Mudhoney?


by: krinkle (Paul Prestia)

A new band has recently emerged onto the Billerica local scene: Yardape. They just recently played a show in Lawrence which I unfortunately missed. I have talked to many concert - goers, though. Some may describe it as “anarchy on stage.” I have also heard some stories of a strange howling type noize emerging from the crowd.

Although I have not heard the band yet, I did hear Maroon when they were together, of which three members exist in Yardape. Jim Pritchard, the band’s lead singer, gave the band a positive tone and an unlabelable sound. Ex-guitarist Dennis Simmons has switched to bass, which I have not yet heard and therefore cannot comment on. They have picked up a new guitarist, Tom Burns. I have also not heard Tom play, but word on the street says he is very promising. And to top off the sundae, Ben King on drums. My own personal opinion of Ben is that he is one of the best drummers in Billerica, and he definitely sticks out in live shows.

My advice to the general public is to try to get to a Yardape show. Although I may sound like a blithering idiot saying this having not seen them yet, I have a gut feeling that the band will shed some sunshine where it doesn’t naturally shine (a strange sort of compliment).

Pyromaniac “Sparks Up” excitement at BMHS

By: bamf (B.A.M.F.)

A how-do-you-do goes out to the pyro who set one of my best friends locker aflame. I'm not forgetting the other three who's locker's got torched, but this just hit home. Thanks to you my friend's coat now reeks of the fire resulting from the cigarette you stuffed in the vent holes. You know, now that I think of it, your probably the same schmuck who gave us the “Storage Room Field Trip” last week aren't you.

I have to say, although you pissed me off you also pissed off every faculty member in the new edition wing, not to mention the fact that Sharkey was pulling out his hair because he couldn't find the fire. I hope you enjoy your field trip / vacation when the administration catches up with you.

Submissions, Feedback

The AIP Publishing group has set up a Bulletin Board System (BBS) for use in contacting the authors and submitting material. This system can be reached at (508) 667-8274, 24 hours a day. If it is busy, keep trying. The system runs on donated equipment and supports only 2400 baud or below. Log on as “new” to establish an account if you do not already have one.

Stuff That Didn’t Make It

Study, Study, Study, Homework, Homework, Homework by SMT1 (cheech). This article was all about going out and getting drunk. After what happened with the last article cheech gave me, I don’t think I’m gonna risk printing this one. I don’t want to end up being a one issue wonder.

Know Your Rights by SyCosis (Sy Cosis) Sure, this was a nifty article, but it used the “P” word (yeah, Pot, Marijuana) that seems to be prohibited right now.

Several B.A.M.F. Articles This is an example of how it’s better to write one good article rather than several crappy ones.

About This Issue

By: Bob (Bob Barry)

The following went into the publication of this newsletter:

Music Resources:

· No Alternative

· Pixies

· Nine Inch Nails

Hardware Resources:

· Very bad 386/25 computer.

· Very nice 486 DX2/66 with 24 megs ram (nice addition)

· Super cheap 286/12 computer with 2400 modem. (it was free)

· HP Laserjet™ printer

Software Resources:

· Microsoft Word 6.0

· Waffle BBS software

· THEDRAW™ ANSI editor

Special thanks to Edwin Walsh, B.M.H.S. sophomore / junior assistant principal for his being cool about this whole thing. I’m sure if I had been given too much of a hard time, this issue would have never been printed.

Special thanks to the Town of Billerica’s attorney for providing me and my parents with lots of nifty legal documents and newspaper clippings pertinent to school newspapers via Walsh.

Also thanks to the teachers at B.M.H.S. who have encouraged and supported me in the production of this newsletter (with advice and suggestions, not school materials!) their names will remain unmentioned. We don’t want a sudden rash of unemployed teachers. And to all the other teachers who weren’t as supporting (“This is garbage!”), I hope this issue changes your mind.

Reprints of 1/1 are available from Billerica Beating staff members. ...And remember: Alleged Illegal Publications does not approve of the use of school equipment (printers, copiers, etc.) by its staff. It will, however, not take responsibility for this use should it occur by persons associated with Alleged Illegal Publications. Please don’t get me in trouble running off copies of this in the sophomore junior house.

End of document.